Are You a Fixer?

    Today is Mother’s Day and pulpits once again will turn to Proverbs 31 to preach about this most wonderful woman.

    To me, it always feels like a checklist of qualities I must strive to accomplish. “She does [her husband] good and not evil…” Check – got that one. “…she brings food from afar…” Yep! Got that one too – from the far place of the grocery store. “She also rises while it is night…” – still working on this one. “…considers a field… buys it…[and] plants a vineyard.” Not!

    The list goes on and on, but I fear the unchecked qualities far outnumber my checked ones. So, does that mean my children won’t “rise up and call me blessed” or my husband won’t “praise” me? No, my desire, like hers, is to be the best wife and mother I can be; to make sure my family has all they need for healthy living. But, there are only twenty-four hours in the day and unfortunately, I’m not perfect. I can’t do it all or fix everything, even though I try.

    Throughout the ages, mothers remain the same. While our children are young, we are the fixer, comforter, supplier of needs, provider of wants, producer of joy, and disciplinarian. But, do we stop when they reach adulthood? As our grown children tell us their problems, make unwise decisions or wander from faith, how do we handle it? Do we kick into “Mommy-mode”, rushing in to kiss their boo-boo and make it all better?

    Yes, we Fixer’s spring into action as we always did and do whatever it takes to stop the pain. When we can’t, we fret, worry, and continue to look for some way to fix things. Finally, turning to prayer more as a plea to “help me fix this” rather than “Lord, You know what’s best”.

    Consider the “Mom” characteristics I mentioned. Are they not, on a much grander scale, also attributes of our great God? Jesus said of us, “You are gods…” (John 6:34) He was not meaning we are God, but at times, we function like Him. God created us in His image, nevertheless sin makes us imperfect and finite. We do not know the end from the beginning. Therefore, fixing may not be what’s best.

    Although unwise decisions could have caused our adult child pain, God may want to use it to correct and teach drawing them to Himself. Therefore, rushing in to fix things, bailing them out of a jam they created, could be making it worse and hindering the work of God in their lives.

    God knows all perfectly. If they or we need pain, He allows it. If it’s comfort, He holds us. Whatever our need, when we trust Him, He provides in the way that’s best. He is our Almighty, all-sufficient El Shaddai.

    As mothers, we so completely care for our young children, that as they grow, we find it extremely hard to let go. When pain happens in our adult child’s life, pain also happens to us. Therefore, we Fixer’s, must first turn to prayer and allow El Shaddai to guide us in the fixing. He knows our heart, our love for our children, and our desire to make it all better. Remember, He is not only all-sufficient for us; He is all-sufficient for them.

    Genesis 17:1 is where God first presents Himself as El Shaddai. He said to Abram, “…I am God Almighty; walk before Me and be blameless…”

Have a Happy and Blessed Mother’s Day!